Time to Introduce Safety Speak….

Reading some of the comments made by people in high places we should make it compulsory for all senior officials to attend a special course on Safety Speak.

What is Safety Speak?
It is a special course tailored for incompetent leaders when they have to meet the press. Too often they make some stupid remarks and then later claim they were misquoted or quoted out of context.

Over the past few weeks, the newspapers had various reports where senior people made remarks that could have been avoided they had they attended a basic course in Safety Speak.

Examples:

• The MB of Johor wanted the Malays to be the “pivotal” race in Malaysia and also started a campaign to get rid of meritocracy as it hampered progress.

• The Municipal President of Penang city explains that all the city officials would not be able to resist looking up a reporter’s skirt as she was dressed “sexily”.

What would the basic course in Safety Speak contain?
Seeing that incompetents are largely in charge of town councils a one-hour course should be enough to that they can memorise the following safe sentences.

“That incident was unfortunate and unforeseen. Let me check the full details and get back to you.”

One month later.

“We have now concluded our investigations. The person responsible has (been transferred)/(resigned) and we will ensure this does not happen again.”

Two months later after a repeat of similar incident.

“We apologise to the public for this incident. The person responsible has (been transferred)/(resigned) and we will take more stringent measures to ensure this does not happen again”.

And so it goes on.
The story will never end until we are given back our rights to elect local city officials.

Can you think of any sentence that could be included in the basic course for Safety Speak?

photo:courtesy of http://www.southport.gb.com/clowns2002/Clowns_21Sept2002_0014_small.jpg